Slowly, slowly

 I am working on what may become my next novel. It is set in the late 1940s and the 1950s. The main character is a fifteen year old girl who gets pregnant. The father is eighteen and consent is questionable. She is sent to a home for unwed mothers, where she makes a friend, whose pregnancy will end tragically. I am also working on the main characters' parents and their backstory. I plan to introduce another family, a young couple who have an adopted son. The wife, to their surprise, became pregnant and is about to deliver another son.  One of these two children will develop polio. 

As of now, I don't have a title, which is unusual for me. And I remain unsure whether I have a story. I have written forty+ pages.  

Oof, rejection

My first significant book rejection came in the late 1970s when I was still a parish pastor. I had written a book of essays, poems, etc. which I submitted to MacMillan. It was accepted. I had lengthy talks with the editor about art work, etc. Being very excited, I told family and friends. Then there was silence from MacMillan. Finally, I reached the editor who told me that at a year end budget meeting they decided not to publish it. Very embarrassing and discouraging. He said, "Maybe will get you on your tenth book." I never submitted to them again, but twelve years later my first co-authored book (theme: mental health and healthcare) came out. Six years after that another co-authored professional book came out. Fifteen years later my first novel came out. In November of this year, my 11th novel will be released. 

Along the way, I had at least a hundred and fifty more rejections, but none more significant to me than the first. (When my 10th book was released, I felt a little extra satisfaction.)

When did I catch the book writing bug?

I have always dated my desire to be a published author to my years in seminary and parish ministry. I learned the power of language to create reality and the importance of storytelling to create meaning. The Bible is a book of stories and the purpose of those stories is to bring listeners to the truths revealed in them. Writing weekly sermons for six years was an exercise in meaning-making through stories that were intended to understand, shape, inspire, heal, motivate, empathize with, and be relatable to the lives of my listeners. During those years, I wrote two failed book manuscripts. I also started keeping a journal, something I have done for over fifty years.

Ten years later, after having changed my profession to psychotherapy, primarily marriage and family therapy, I co-authored my first book (1990). Six years after that, I co-authored another book (1996). It wasn't until nine years later that I published my first novel (2005), followed by nine more in the ensuing twenty years (number eleven will be released in a matter of months).

My book writing interests began in my mid-twenties and eventually led to long-fiction writing, something I never thought I would (or could) do, twenty-five years later. 

Recently, I read the obituary of a friend from my teen years. Curiosity led me to my old high school year books. I found her kind words written in the back of my Junior year book (1967). I was surprised by her PSS. She said, "Don't forget to write the book!"  I don't recall what she was referring to, but I was surprised that even at age sixteen I aspired to do something that would shape the next sixty years. 

Makes me wonder whether the seed was planted even earlier than this. 

Slogging

When I sit down to write, I begin by rereading what I've written the last few days. I edit those pages before I go on. When I'm satisfied, I start the day's work. It's like a pitcher needing to wind up before throwing the ball. 

Other times I can write for several days without rereading anything. This can happen any time during the months it takes to complete a novel, but it happens most often in the first 10,000 or so words. I'm not sure why I do this. But that's where I've been this week. 

Sometimes I feel a little bit like Sisyphus. Slogging along. Hm...  

"Pantser"

 Among the many quotes about writing that I admire, one stands out for me. When asked about how he writes, the novelist E.L. Doctorow said:

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way" 

He is a "pantser", which is to say someone who writes by the seat of his or her pants. There is no outline to follow or map that shows every twist and turn of the story. A pantser writes into the story, trusting that he or she will see far enough ahead to keep going, to discover, to be surprised, to follow the characters where they may lead. 

I am a card carrying panster! When I start writing a novel, I usually have the title and a main character (although that main character may be replaced by a yet unknown character). I also have a notion or an inkling about challenging circumstance that character may face. Other characters emerge, often quickly, though some don't make it onto the page until I am well into the story.

Writing this way is a little bit crazy. It takes a lot of trust in the process, a willingness to let the story emerge out of the dark road ahead. 

Complexity

I'm writing what I hope will be another novel. I have been working on a single thread, which is to say, I am writing from one character's perspective. But yesterday, I started writing from a second character's point of view and I have another in mind and a few more to consider down the line. Multiple view points create more complexity and more complexity creates a greater variety of options from which new ideas emerge. Then I can do a better job of weaving all the threads together. 

The Rudder

 Before I start writing a story, I (almost) always have a title in mind. The title acts as a rudder. It guides the story, taking it where it needs to go. It's not that I think about the title while I write, but rather that the title inspires or permeates the writing without my having to keep it in mind all the time. I guess my unconscious mind must take care of that. The piece I am working on now doesn't have a title. Ugh.